Who pays for childcare after divorce? What's fair?
Although it’s hard to keep emotions out of this, childcare arrangements after divorce are best for sorted as early as possible. Read on to understand who pays for childcare, how child maintenance works, and where to get help if it's all making your head spin.
It’s very hard to not keep your emotions at bay when you're going through a divorce, but the best way to tackle childcare is to compartmentalise.
Take a deep breath, then do your best to leave to one side any feelings about your ex, any twinge of resentment or entitlement, and focus on the future stability of your little ones. In other words, grit your teeth and let the numbers do the talking.
Once those teeth are gritted, how does it actually work? Who pays for childcare after divorce? Is there any help with childcare costs for single parents? How does child maintenance work? And most importantly, how do you prioritise what’s fairest for the kids?
Step One: Work out your childcare costs
First things first, try to write down all the regular and occasional costs associated with raising your kids. Not only will this give you a realistic impression of the outgoings, it can also act as proof and back up for later discussions if they get a bit messy.
Food, clothing, nursery fees, travel, medication… there’s a lot to go over. Thankfully, there’s a super helpful worksheet from the Department of Work and Pensions to guide you through this. Download or print it, then fill in the chart as it walks you through a list of typical costs. If anything, it’s a great reminder of where the money actually goes.
Download or print the DWP worksheet here.
Step Two: Check the child maintenance calculator
For a tried and tested measure of what to expect from child maintenance after divorce, the government have created a Child Maintenance Calculator. This will give you a rough figure to use as a starting point in discussions with your ex, showing you what the government is likely to set if you use the Child Maintenance Service to arrange payments.
To use the calculator, you’ll need some info about your ex: their income, including state pension and benefits, and your plans for how many nights your child will stay with them.
Here's a quick example:
Here's a few other things you may need to keep in mind:
Receiving payments does not affect any benefits that you or your children get.
You must have an arrangement in place for all children under 16 - or under 20 if they’re in full-time education.
You can appeal a decision about payment amounts – the first stage is asking CMS for mandatory reconsideration.
Parents do not have to pay for maintenance if they share care duties equally, are a full-time student with no income, or are in prison.
CMS only looks at income of up to £3,000 a week, around £150,000 a year. If one parent earns more than this, then a private arrangement is probably more appropriate, but could mean going to court.
Step Three: What to do with your child maintenance calculation
If you and your ex aim to make a private arrangement, which you set together and both agree to, then your calculation is a great place to start. This is to cover living costs, so any extras will need to be negotiated.
As you’ve already worked out what you tend to spend on childcare, you should be able to see whether the calculation comes close to what you’ll need or not. If the calculation is lower than your own figure, discuss which of the kids’ needs would be met and which would be out of budget. Then negotiate to work out the difference.
For example, will your ex add the cost of Jenny’s badminton lessons to their maintenance payment (assuming they are the one paying it)? Will you be the one paying that bill from now on? Or does your child have to stop going as it’s not affordable anymore?
What if we can’t agree privately?
This is where the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) comes in. You don’t have to use them if you prefer and are able to make a private arrangement yourselves or through the court, but that can be easier said than done.
If you use the Child Maintenance Service, they can:
They can also try to track down the other parent if you don’t know where they are. And they can sort out disagreements about parentage if your ex denies they are involved – DNA tests and the like.