Rachel's Rap

The Milkshake Tax brings pounds to the yard

And my Mansion Tax is better than yours

Damn right, it’s better than yours.

Got a fancy pad? Then I’ll have to charge

My freezes hurt everyone in the yard,

And they’re like – tax thresholds are hard!

Damn right, I’m filling my card

There’s the Tories’ Black Hole I’m trying to half!

I say the cash ISA’s getting capped,

12 grand a year, got the savers trapped

Landlords paying more NI

Got a second home, then I’ll make ya cry

Salary sacrifice bites the dust

Just 2 grand a year in this tax-free crust

Sorry employers, but you gotta pay

And National Insurance is a sneaky way

More inheritance tax and CGT

Come to yard and fill me with glee

Dividend tax after five hundred quid

Loadsa stealth taxes, what else am I bid?

Working people, you’ll be fine

There’s only 12 of you left, but you’re on my mind.

Got broad shoulders? Raise that stake

Fiscal cream for my money cake